I have no idea what I want in life except that I want to be happy... I try to define myself but I can't quite do it... I have learned that I am more than a career or a job, but sometimes when I ask myself "who am I?" it's hard to come up with an answer... The fact that I don't know what I want has gotten mixed with what I am and I feel completely lost...
I want to find something I want and fight for it and I was planning on following other people advice but I think that's not the right plan, the thing is I am not short of ideas, the problem is I have trouble figuring out which ones I like and which I don't, specially if I have other people around me telling me what they think I would like... That's how I started this blog, following advice that I thought sounded great but my heart wasn't completely in the idea, I was confused and felt pressured I had to do it in a certain way, meet someone else's standards of how a blog should be... I was afraid I would reveal too much and become vulnerable... So after only one post that was seen by only one person, I stopped...
Today I am back... because I feel in my heart I need to write... not for anyone but me, but this time rather than keeping it to myself I'm saving my thoughts here in this unknown blog for everyone and no one to see...
I quit my job in may, and took another one that I didn't quite want... I decided the "right" thing to do was to take it and try something else to see if it would become my passion... also because everyone around me thought I would like it and encouraged me to take it... it's only been 3 weeks and I am ready to quit, the problem is I'm not ready to tell anyone yet (not even my boss) .... I hope tomorrow I find the courage I need to stop doing what others want me to do and start fighting for what I think I might want... I may not be sure of what that is yet but I am sure that this job isn't it ...
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
What keeps us from pursuing our dreams?
Is it our family, loved ones, society, friends?
The answer, I believe, is ourselves… I spend half my energy trying to guess what others might think if I do or say a certain thing, if a pick a certain outfit or read a certain book… The funny thing is I'm used to thinking about myself as an independent woman who takes life as it comes and doesn’t worry about society and what others might think, yet I'm always questioning myself… I only let my friends get to know half of me because I am not sure how they would respond to the other half… I keep a lot to myself because I am afraid I will be judged, I don’t share my plans because I am afraid someone will crush them…
The worst part is I let them; whenever I share an idea with someone, and that someone disagrees, I try to stick to my point of view and defend it to the core, but the truth is when I’m alone at night, I start losing faith in my original idea and slowly take in the other persons point of view…
The answer, I believe, is ourselves… I spend half my energy trying to guess what others might think if I do or say a certain thing, if a pick a certain outfit or read a certain book… The funny thing is I'm used to thinking about myself as an independent woman who takes life as it comes and doesn’t worry about society and what others might think, yet I'm always questioning myself… I only let my friends get to know half of me because I am not sure how they would respond to the other half… I keep a lot to myself because I am afraid I will be judged, I don’t share my plans because I am afraid someone will crush them…
The worst part is I let them; whenever I share an idea with someone, and that someone disagrees, I try to stick to my point of view and defend it to the core, but the truth is when I’m alone at night, I start losing faith in my original idea and slowly take in the other persons point of view…
The question now becomes why do I do this?
The answer, I do it out of fear… fear of failure... I know life is not perfect and all successful people have failed quite a couple of times… but some people fail trying to do something they want to do, something they are sure of and even after failing they learn something and try again… But since I have no clue about what I want to do, it’s hard to start doing something… So the truth is no one is stopping me from doing anything... I just need to brake free from my own insecurities and take a risk...
That is exactly why I started this blog... I want to take that risk and follow my dreams but I find myself without any specific dreams, so decided to look for inspiration in unexpected places, like here, so I ask you ¿What is your main source of inspiration?
The answer, I do it out of fear… fear of failure... I know life is not perfect and all successful people have failed quite a couple of times… but some people fail trying to do something they want to do, something they are sure of and even after failing they learn something and try again… But since I have no clue about what I want to do, it’s hard to start doing something… So the truth is no one is stopping me from doing anything... I just need to brake free from my own insecurities and take a risk...
That is exactly why I started this blog... I want to take that risk and follow my dreams but I find myself without any specific dreams, so decided to look for inspiration in unexpected places, like here, so I ask you ¿What is your main source of inspiration?
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